“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Ssshhhh baby, it’s almost over.”

The Mad Hatter pushes the broom in even further in with a squish. Another hard jab and there’s a pop noise.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” she starts crying hysterically. “It hurts! Too much! Too much pain! I think you ripped something inside me!”

The Mad Hatter pulls out the broom and the tip is covered in blood. Dripping in fact. The Mad Hatter grins.

“that was a good penetration, eh? I think I broke through your tissue. Heh-heh-heh-” and he slowly brings his face towards the bloody broom handle and inspects it. Even closer. He opens his mouth and lets his tongue out. The tongue reaches out and licks the tip of the blood and he swallows it.

“mmmm. S’good eatin’… HAHAHAHAHA!”

The young Alice just looks horrified at this. What else could you do. This is too much for her. And she passes out. Indefinitely.

Just then, the lights die out. The entire place in black except for the Mad Hatters eyes.

“Gatta love the glow in the dark contacts…”

Thumps and crashes are heard upstairs. All kinds of screams echo through the house.

“what the DUCKIES is going on up there?” he runs down the stairs and busts open the door even though it wasn’t locked. The room is completely black but he still searches the room. He’s memorized the whole house. A grumbled voice shakes the room.

“HATTER!”

“oooooooooooooooh! It’s Santa! Santa Santa Santa Santa Santa!!!!! Have I been a good little girl! I totally want my two front teeth!”

“what’s your plan Hatter? What’s your deal?”

“I‘m digging for apples! but I don’t wanna talk business right now… here, let me make you some tea!”

a knife slips out of the bottom of his pants sleeve and he grabs it with his toes. He makes a hard kick and the knife disappears.

“Argh!”

“Mary-Anne! Give me back my knife!” and darts forward, pulls a wrist from the darkness and swings the body of it around and crashes it into the sink.

“here Suzie! Have some tea!” and he raises a chair over him and swings it down making parts fly everywhere.

“ecstasy! ecstasy! ecstasy! ecstasy! ecstasy!”

Just then the glowing eyes disappear. Batman jumps to his feet and puts his guard up.

BOOM! Something hits his back and he flies forward. He catches himself and turns to see the glowing eyes disappear again.

“BOOM! Nut-check! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!”

Batman reels on the ground. The eyes reappear and in front of batman’s face and bob back and forth.

“look buddy, I’m a sport. Take this offer: it was most uncivil of you to sit without being invited, so I say; change seats. Get out and I won’t stab you till your Jell-O.” the eyes disappear again and the room grows silent. Batman takes the offer.

The Gotham playhouse.

It’s a special event. Three different preschools are gathered here to see Alice in Wonderland on stage. You’d think that in light of the weeks occurrences it would’ve been canceled but you know what they say: the show must go on…

The amount of little kids is ridiculous. A sea of them. The parents were obvious in the bleachers because they were all so much taller then the children.

A hush takes over the room as the curtains open as the play starts.

5 years ago.

A lab in the lower levels of Wayne industries. So low It’s underground. A scientist grudgingly slaves over his work.

“I hate this project.” Jervis Tetch

“Then why did you take it on in the first place?” Alison Dianas.

“because it gets me in a lab. That’s all I want. Even if I have to put up with this stupid project.”

“if you hate these projects then why become a chemist?”

“because I love chemistry. Not this crap.”

“what are you working on anyway?”

“a toxin that kills polyethylene and serotonin in the hypothalamus.”

“not a chemist, Jervis…”

“sorry. It’s a pill that takes away love from your mind.”

“that’s a weird project, although considering Mr. Wayne’s love-life he might be dieing for one of those.”

“I would guess… he calls it the Anti-rotican.”

“that’s a stupid name…”

“yeah, it is. But like I have any room to comment. Not as if we ever did anything big enough to name.”

“true. Just two lonely, nothing bastards huh? Heh…”

“two peas in a pod. One miserable, miserable pod.”

“your too dreary Tetch. You need to lighten up a bit. You’ll just curl up and die at this rate and where will that leave me huh? Bored.”

“and would that be so bad?”

“dieing or boredom?”

“either…”

Jervis reaches into his bottom draw and pulls out a bottle of pills.

“you know Jervis, you never told me what those pills were for…”

“and if I have my way, you never will…”

Gotham theatre hall.

The play continues as normal. The Mad Hatter of this particular play was a midget with a giant green hat that was as big as him and a plaid suit and Alice in the traditional blue dress. All was normal. But all the parents and teachers get confused at the small mistakes in the play. First of all: the queen of hearts was never at the mad tea party.

Then, when Alice walks in and the Mad Hatter of the play says the oddest thing:

“SIT! SIT! There’s plenty of room!” he gets up and prods the Alice forward.

Alice sits and then the plays Mad Hatter gets up and prods all the parents to join the tea party. Some refused but most got up to join the fun. All the teachers and parents join in the table and drink from the imaginary tea.

Then the Queen of hearts stands abruptly.

“there are far too many people at my tea party…” then swarms of men in large foam squares meant to look like giant playing cards walked into the walkways of the theatre. They couple together in front of the doors, “...there needs to be a stop to this insolence…” the playing card actors took hold of each of the parents sitting at the table, axes in hand they stood ready, “Mad Hatter… what do YOU think I should do?”

Just then the plays Mad Hatter takes off his hat and puts it on the table. The room grows quiet. Then the REAL Mad Hatter leaps out of the hat and screams:

“I say: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!”

The card actors rip off their costumes to reveal Mad Hatters card players. They rear back the axes and start decapitating every adult in the audience one at a time. The ones on stage are pushed into the table and quickly severed. The children can only watch as loved ones get their blood splattered over them. Into their eyes and in their mouths. They cry and cry smudging the blood. This is not to say that they were spared…

“there’s more here than I thought…kill like, 20 or 30 of ‘em… then we’ll go.”

And they did. Brutally. Chopping them in half and in fourths and anyway you can think of. And yet there were still a huge amount of kids left.

“don’t you just love playhouses that block cell phone service? HA! Ok! Now load the little brats on the buses. Don’t let any of the little shits get away. We need them all for the garden…